I wish I can feel...and i'm starting to feel...
Someone recently just entered my life... someone that has been hurt many times but yet none of it stop him to lose faith in love or afraid to love someone again.... Met him in a forum that I have been visiting frequently at the beginning of the year during my confinement at home. For the past months, we only chat in the forum and msn but only get to see him on one of the forum girl birthday a few months back. Since then, he has been dating me to go cycling, visit the museum, dinner, movies, etc... I didn't suspect any thing as sometime I do catch movie with one of my guy friend who like artistic film, etc and are all very close to them too. And, he has many good friends which are female too. So I thought he treat me like any other of her good friend as we have many interest that alot of people find it stupid to do - go picnic, visit the museum, etc.
So now he has entered my life... but yet I'm so afraid.. in fact more afraid than he is... although he had more past than I do... more hurt than I do... but yet he is more giving, more loving... although I know but none I can feel... so afraid to commit... so afraid to give... so afraid to love... afraid that in the end it will be all taken away from me, leaving me empty and lost again...
He is kind... never rushing... always telling me to go with the flow... don't think too much about the past- if I think I have bad experience with my past r/s, he had worst ones that haunt him for a year. Every step I take he ensure me... I'm feel like a baby taking the first step... should I follow his footstep?
We had a wonderful picnic during National day... I got a picnic basket from yahoo auction for $15 with 4 sets of plates, cups and cutleries. And, we got smoked salmon, parma ham, beef, cheese, fruits, bread... together with qi, ying, his friend-CW and we find a nice spot at ECP to enjoy the feast!! To add to the highlight is the apache and the national flag and not forgetting the firework display!~!~ Everything is perfect and nice!~!~ really want to thank him for setting up this special day....
I want to thank him for sending my dinner all the way from bedok after my long tiring work... my favorite bar chow mee!~~~~!
But I hope its not honeymoon period... I hope these moment will stay for long... I hope it won't end....
So now he has entered my life... but yet I'm so afraid.. in fact more afraid than he is... although he had more past than I do... more hurt than I do... but yet he is more giving, more loving... although I know but none I can feel... so afraid to commit... so afraid to give... so afraid to love... afraid that in the end it will be all taken away from me, leaving me empty and lost again...
He is kind... never rushing... always telling me to go with the flow... don't think too much about the past- if I think I have bad experience with my past r/s, he had worst ones that haunt him for a year. Every step I take he ensure me... I'm feel like a baby taking the first step... should I follow his footstep?
We had a wonderful picnic during National day... I got a picnic basket from yahoo auction for $15 with 4 sets of plates, cups and cutleries. And, we got smoked salmon, parma ham, beef, cheese, fruits, bread... together with qi, ying, his friend-CW and we find a nice spot at ECP to enjoy the feast!! To add to the highlight is the apache and the national flag and not forgetting the firework display!~!~ Everything is perfect and nice!~!~ really want to thank him for setting up this special day....
I want to thank him for sending my dinner all the way from bedok after my long tiring work... my favorite bar chow mee!~~~~!
But I hope its not honeymoon period... I hope these moment will stay for long... I hope it won't end....
posted by sheepz @ 10:57 AM
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